Questions, Questions & More Questions

Well, it happened!!!!!!!!!!! Last night Molly wanted to discuss her first year of life so we did with a big knot in my throat. She proceeded to explain that she knew she was born out of another woman's tummy. She wanted to know if that woman breast fed her. We explained that we did not know. I told her that the woman who gave birth to her could not take care of her and was very poor. She was visibly upset by this and was thinking very hard about what to say. She wanted to know if they did not have enough food to take care of her, I explained that was correct and therefore they took her to the police station so they could make sure she was taken care of. At first, she was a little upset that she had to go to the police station and wanted to make sure they did not put her in jail. We all laughed and explained that babies do not go to jail, only people who have done bad things. She proceeded to tell the rest of the story that the police station took her to the orphanage and then she went to her foster family/foster mother. She needed understand what foster mother really mean't. She said "Mama, my foster mother is not my real mother, is she?". I said no, she had a very important job to take care of you until your real mommy and daddy came to get you and she did a very good job. She clearly understood that and said that Paul and I were her real mom and dad.

Molly is so incredibly smart for 5 years old. At times, she seems like she is a little old lady, the way she processes information in her mind. She did not seem bothered by any of this except when we talked about her foster mother being poor and she said she did not want to be poor, etc. This entire conversation although very important, was extremely emotional for me. I never want her to feel as though she was not wanted so we talked about how hard it would be to have to give a baby away. She said the woman who gave birth to her was probably very sad when she had to give her away. I explained that the woman who gave birth to her loved her a lot because she wanted the best for her - she understood and was happy to hear this information.

The conversation ended as quickly as it started and she was back to her smiling happy self and not to bothered by the whole thing. I have a feeling this will not be the first conversation we have like this and to be honest, it breaks my heart. I wish I had given birth to Molly and I wish I had breast fed her but that is not what happened. It is a good thing that she is completely enamoured with the idea that Paul and I are her real Mommy and Daddy and I think she knows and is content with the idea and feels extremely secure in knowing that we are here to stay.