Friday, 2/15/08 another memorable day filled with relief and thankfulness for another day.
Paul had a big pediatrics test and started the day out feeling unprepared for the test and therefore was very concerned about what type of grade he would get on the exam. I started the day out knowing that I would get the results of my annual cat scan taken on Wednesday and although I figured the chances were high, there would be no sign of lymphoma, you never know. In this particular situation it is very difficult for me to not think the worst and stop my mind from wondering "WHAT IF".
Finally it was 11:30am and I could not stand it anymore. I called Cancer Care and Tammy's interium replacement answered the phone. She looked to see if my report was back and sure enough it was. She preceded to read it over the phone while I was feeling like I was going to have a major panic attack. She said "Chest, no sign of Lymphoma", "Abdomen, no sign of Lymphoma, and "pelvis, no sign of Lymphoma" - you are all clear girl. I took a big deep breath and said thank you and hung up the phone. Do you think I was satisfied? Nooooooooooooo, I called Nadra and asked her to check the report just to make sure Sherry did not miss anything. Nadra read it and said it was ok, all clear. I felt like I was all dressed up for a party and had no party to go to. I wanted to grab my coat, run out of the office and go celebrate but did not have anyone to celebrate with. By this time it was around 11:30 and I knew Paul would have to be calling me very soon to let me know how he did on his exam. Sure enough about 5 minutes later, my cell phone rang. Paul tried to joke around by disquising his voice that he was sad so of course I said, "Oh No, you don't sound happy". Paul said, just kidding I got an 88 - I yelped and ran into the conference room to talk to him. I was so so so happy for him and proud because he had worked so hard over the last week trying to prepare. Also, it had been a really hard week on me because I was so stressed out due to my check up.
I then said well I have good news and told him about my results. I could tell he got a tear in his eye and was so so so happy to hear it.
Last night was really sweet. We both were so relaxed that Paul did so well on his exam and I was free and clear from cancer. Having gone through a serious illness, you realize how very sweet life is and how quickly it can be shaken up. We want to continue on this sweet crazy adventure of ours and to know we have many more days ahead of us is exhilerating and so incredibly wonderful. Here's to some breathing room for a while at least from the health front.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
My Sweet Valentines..............
Well, what a memorable Valentine's Day the Gilmartin family had this year. What started out as a joke will now most likely become a family tradition. Because Valentine's Day fell on a Thursday this year and that is two days before my WW weigh in and one day before Paul's pediatrics exam, we needed a quick and healthy plan. BAM............. A night in Paris at Chick Fil La, yes, I said Chick Fil La. We made reservations for table side service at 6:30pm. When we arrived, they took our photo, sat us at our reserved table and gave us cute little valentine menus. On our table were votive candles, chocolate kisses and a bag of chocolates for Molly.
Molly had chicken nuggets, Paul had a grilled chicken sandwich and I had chicken strips. We were serenaded by a string quartet and the servers were so sweet and helpful. We left Chick Fil la and went home to open our valentine cards and gifts. Molly loved her valentine cards the best. When she opened them, she looked at Paul and I and said "Thank you guys for my sweet cards". I thought, this child is such an old soul and so adorable. We spent the rest of the evening together just talking about how happy we are.
What a wonderful fun memory of Valentine's Day - sharing it with my two favorite valentines who fill me up with so much love.... Love you Daddy and Molly.
Molly had chicken nuggets, Paul had a grilled chicken sandwich and I had chicken strips. We were serenaded by a string quartet and the servers were so sweet and helpful. We left Chick Fil la and went home to open our valentine cards and gifts. Molly loved her valentine cards the best. When she opened them, she looked at Paul and I and said "Thank you guys for my sweet cards". I thought, this child is such an old soul and so adorable. We spent the rest of the evening together just talking about how happy we are.
What a wonderful fun memory of Valentine's Day - sharing it with my two favorite valentines who fill me up with so much love.... Love you Daddy and Molly.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Questions, Questions & More Questions
Well, it happened!!!!!!!!!!! Last night Molly wanted to discuss her first year of life so we did with a big knot in my throat. She proceeded to explain that she knew she was born out of another woman's tummy. She wanted to know if that woman breast fed her. We explained that we did not know. I told her that the woman who gave birth to her could not take care of her and was very poor. She was visibly upset by this and was thinking very hard about what to say. She wanted to know if they did not have enough food to take care of her, I explained that was correct and therefore they took her to the police station so they could make sure she was taken care of. At first, she was a little upset that she had to go to the police station and wanted to make sure they did not put her in jail. We all laughed and explained that babies do not go to jail, only people who have done bad things. She proceeded to tell the rest of the story that the police station took her to the orphanage and then she went to her foster family/foster mother. She needed understand what foster mother really mean't. She said "Mama, my foster mother is not my real mother, is she?". I said no, she had a very important job to take care of you until your real mommy and daddy came to get you and she did a very good job. She clearly understood that and said that Paul and I were her real mom and dad.
Molly is so incredibly smart for 5 years old. At times, she seems like she is a little old lady, the way she processes information in her mind. She did not seem bothered by any of this except when we talked about her foster mother being poor and she said she did not want to be poor, etc. This entire conversation although very important, was extremely emotional for me. I never want her to feel as though she was not wanted so we talked about how hard it would be to have to give a baby away. She said the woman who gave birth to her was probably very sad when she had to give her away. I explained that the woman who gave birth to her loved her a lot because she wanted the best for her - she understood and was happy to hear this information.
The conversation ended as quickly as it started and she was back to her smiling happy self and not to bothered by the whole thing. I have a feeling this will not be the first conversation we have like this and to be honest, it breaks my heart. I wish I had given birth to Molly and I wish I had breast fed her but that is not what happened. It is a good thing that she is completely enamoured with the idea that Paul and I are her real Mommy and Daddy and I think she knows and is content with the idea and feels extremely secure in knowing that we are here to stay.
Molly is so incredibly smart for 5 years old. At times, she seems like she is a little old lady, the way she processes information in her mind. She did not seem bothered by any of this except when we talked about her foster mother being poor and she said she did not want to be poor, etc. This entire conversation although very important, was extremely emotional for me. I never want her to feel as though she was not wanted so we talked about how hard it would be to have to give a baby away. She said the woman who gave birth to her was probably very sad when she had to give her away. I explained that the woman who gave birth to her loved her a lot because she wanted the best for her - she understood and was happy to hear this information.
The conversation ended as quickly as it started and she was back to her smiling happy self and not to bothered by the whole thing. I have a feeling this will not be the first conversation we have like this and to be honest, it breaks my heart. I wish I had given birth to Molly and I wish I had breast fed her but that is not what happened. It is a good thing that she is completely enamoured with the idea that Paul and I are her real Mommy and Daddy and I think she knows and is content with the idea and feels extremely secure in knowing that we are here to stay.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
An Amazing Gift
Yesterday in the mail, we received a priceless package. Many pictures of Molly's foster family by themself and with Molly. Many answers to questions we had about the first year of Molly's life and a letter for Molly from her foster mother (still to be translated).
About two weeks ago, I was contacted by a girl named Julie. She said she had information about He Mei Bo (Molly) and she wanted me to contact her privately. Of course, I contacted her very quickly and she informed me that Molly's foster family was inquiring about her. At first, I was not sure this was legit but as I investigated it in more detail, I felt like it was all above board. There is a man in Nanchang, China who knew Molly's foster mother and he contacted Julie and then she contacted me. This information is confidential so it had to be handled under the table because the orphanage does not want the foster family information shared with anyone. We cooresponded with Bruce and WaLa - our package arrived yesterday.
In the photos, you can tell Molly was really loved by her foster family. In several photos, she is smiling brightly and the family is smiling watching her and in one family photo, the father is holding Molly's hand. One of the questions I had for the foster mother was when did Molly go to her home and when did she leave. Evidently, Molly arrived to their home in late March and left in late November. Unfortunately, we were told that Molly went into foster care in May and left in October. I feel much better knowing she went to their home shortly after she was found on March 10th and shortly before our forever family day, 11/30/03. I am still a little confused as to why Molly had such attachment issues but it does not matter at this point because we believe Molly is completely healed from those issues.
My day yesterday was filled with mixed emotions. On one hand, I was thrilled to know that Molly had been so well taken care of and loved and to have this information was priceless. On the other hand, I was so sad that I missed out on those first precious 10 months of her life. When I looked at the photos of this mysterious family in China holding my baby and playing with her, I was so envious that they had this time with her and I was here in the U.S. dreaming of doing the same thing. At times yesterday I felt heartbroken and I guess before I saw these people, it was not as real so it was easy to push it out of my head. I know this will pass and I am so so grateful to have this information for Molly as she grows up and has questions about her first year of life. We might possibly visit them when we travel to pick up Molly but not sure if Molly will be old enough - we will have to discuss this in great detail and it may be logistically not possible. We do have their contact information so we can keep them updated with information on Molly in the future.
What an interesting day filled with so many different emotions.
About two weeks ago, I was contacted by a girl named Julie. She said she had information about He Mei Bo (Molly) and she wanted me to contact her privately. Of course, I contacted her very quickly and she informed me that Molly's foster family was inquiring about her. At first, I was not sure this was legit but as I investigated it in more detail, I felt like it was all above board. There is a man in Nanchang, China who knew Molly's foster mother and he contacted Julie and then she contacted me. This information is confidential so it had to be handled under the table because the orphanage does not want the foster family information shared with anyone. We cooresponded with Bruce and WaLa - our package arrived yesterday.
In the photos, you can tell Molly was really loved by her foster family. In several photos, she is smiling brightly and the family is smiling watching her and in one family photo, the father is holding Molly's hand. One of the questions I had for the foster mother was when did Molly go to her home and when did she leave. Evidently, Molly arrived to their home in late March and left in late November. Unfortunately, we were told that Molly went into foster care in May and left in October. I feel much better knowing she went to their home shortly after she was found on March 10th and shortly before our forever family day, 11/30/03. I am still a little confused as to why Molly had such attachment issues but it does not matter at this point because we believe Molly is completely healed from those issues.
My day yesterday was filled with mixed emotions. On one hand, I was thrilled to know that Molly had been so well taken care of and loved and to have this information was priceless. On the other hand, I was so sad that I missed out on those first precious 10 months of her life. When I looked at the photos of this mysterious family in China holding my baby and playing with her, I was so envious that they had this time with her and I was here in the U.S. dreaming of doing the same thing. At times yesterday I felt heartbroken and I guess before I saw these people, it was not as real so it was easy to push it out of my head. I know this will pass and I am so so grateful to have this information for Molly as she grows up and has questions about her first year of life. We might possibly visit them when we travel to pick up Molly but not sure if Molly will be old enough - we will have to discuss this in great detail and it may be logistically not possible. We do have their contact information so we can keep them updated with information on Molly in the future.
What an interesting day filled with so many different emotions.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET MOLLY!!!!
Well tomorrow is our sweet Molly's 5th birthday. I cannot get my head around the fact that she will be 5 years old. I will probably be blogging 5 years from now and saying the exact same thing. Time flys when you are having fun!!!!
Molly at 5: So full of life, joyful, bright, funny, brilliant intellectually, social, energized, SECURE, great imagination, artistic - pure pure joy.
Yesterday, I went to Lake Hills (Molly's school) to celebrate her birthday at her school with her friends. For each year that Molly is, she circled the sun in a ceremony while Ms. Val read
what I had written about her, it was beautiful. She also shared photos of each year with her teachers & friends. Besides a few boys acting off and Ms. Val needing to be very stern, it went off without a hitch except when it was time for me to go. Molly as usual did not want me to leave and both of our hearts were breaking. I explained to Molly that it was very fun to celebrate these things but Mommy had to go back to work. Finally, Molly was brave enough to turn around and walk out on the playground. Her head was hanging low and she was starting to cry. Her friend Reese was standing next to her as was Ms. Val with her arm on Molly's shoulder. She was really upset and turned around and went to the door and watched me leave while she was crying and waving to me. As I got in my car, I was again heartbroken and was quickly trying to figure out how I could get out of work for the afternoon. I went to the office and said I needed to work out of my house the rest of the afternoon. I went back to LH's and Molly was so so so excited. She kept saying "thank you Mama". She said "I think I love you more than Daddy". We had a wonderful afternoon putting her party favors together and going for a walk - the afternoon was a treasure.
Today her party at Tulsa World of Gymnastics was so much fun. All morning, Molly kept saying how much longer until my party - she was so excited. In fact, I asked her if she was excited and she said "I am so excited, it is freakin me out". When she and I went to pick up her balloons, she was thrilled. When she saw the big bunch of balloons at the store, she was smiling and covering her mouth and said "thank you Mommy, thank you". She said as we got in the car, "I love you Mommy, I think I am the luckiest girl in the world". I said "I am the luckiest Mommy and we are the luckiest family". At her party, all of the kids loved running around and jumping on all of the equipment. Everyone genuinely seemed to be so happy to be at Molly's party. When she opened her gifts, there were so many thoughtful presents such as the yoga mat from Julian. It was a wonderful day in every single way.
Tomorrow, we will celebrate with my mom and sister. What a wonderful life we have and an incredible 5 years with Molly. We are savouring every single second of every day because we cannot get yesterday back and she is growing so fast before our eyes. Happy Birthday my sweet girl, Mommy loves you so deeply.
Molly at 5: So full of life, joyful, bright, funny, brilliant intellectually, social, energized, SECURE, great imagination, artistic - pure pure joy.
Yesterday, I went to Lake Hills (Molly's school) to celebrate her birthday at her school with her friends. For each year that Molly is, she circled the sun in a ceremony while Ms. Val read
what I had written about her, it was beautiful. She also shared photos of each year with her teachers & friends. Besides a few boys acting off and Ms. Val needing to be very stern, it went off without a hitch except when it was time for me to go. Molly as usual did not want me to leave and both of our hearts were breaking. I explained to Molly that it was very fun to celebrate these things but Mommy had to go back to work. Finally, Molly was brave enough to turn around and walk out on the playground. Her head was hanging low and she was starting to cry. Her friend Reese was standing next to her as was Ms. Val with her arm on Molly's shoulder. She was really upset and turned around and went to the door and watched me leave while she was crying and waving to me. As I got in my car, I was again heartbroken and was quickly trying to figure out how I could get out of work for the afternoon. I went to the office and said I needed to work out of my house the rest of the afternoon. I went back to LH's and Molly was so so so excited. She kept saying "thank you Mama". She said "I think I love you more than Daddy". We had a wonderful afternoon putting her party favors together and going for a walk - the afternoon was a treasure.
Today her party at Tulsa World of Gymnastics was so much fun. All morning, Molly kept saying how much longer until my party - she was so excited. In fact, I asked her if she was excited and she said "I am so excited, it is freakin me out". When she and I went to pick up her balloons, she was thrilled. When she saw the big bunch of balloons at the store, she was smiling and covering her mouth and said "thank you Mommy, thank you". She said as we got in the car, "I love you Mommy, I think I am the luckiest girl in the world". I said "I am the luckiest Mommy and we are the luckiest family". At her party, all of the kids loved running around and jumping on all of the equipment. Everyone genuinely seemed to be so happy to be at Molly's party. When she opened her gifts, there were so many thoughtful presents such as the yoga mat from Julian. It was a wonderful day in every single way.
Tomorrow, we will celebrate with my mom and sister. What a wonderful life we have and an incredible 5 years with Molly. We are savouring every single second of every day because we cannot get yesterday back and she is growing so fast before our eyes. Happy Birthday my sweet girl, Mommy loves you so deeply.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Saturday, January 5th, 2008
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How exciting a brand new year. I love this time because it is filled with hope and anticipation of what the new year will bring. We are hoping this year will bring success for Paulie in finishing nursing school in December as stress free as possible. For myself, I want to continue my weight loss journey by staying on track with Weight Watchers and continuing to embrace the program and continue to see the pounds drop. Also, we hope we get to see our sweet Maggie's face by the end of the year. If we don't, we know it won't be much longer into 2009. Molly has been so patient and I hope for her, she gets to see her baby sister sooner rather than later. Most importantly, we so hope we all stay very healthy and feel great every day we wake up and thankful to be able to put two feet on the ground and live each day to the fullest.
How exciting a brand new year. I love this time because it is filled with hope and anticipation of what the new year will bring. We are hoping this year will bring success for Paulie in finishing nursing school in December as stress free as possible. For myself, I want to continue my weight loss journey by staying on track with Weight Watchers and continuing to embrace the program and continue to see the pounds drop. Also, we hope we get to see our sweet Maggie's face by the end of the year. If we don't, we know it won't be much longer into 2009. Molly has been so patient and I hope for her, she gets to see her baby sister sooner rather than later. Most importantly, we so hope we all stay very healthy and feel great every day we wake up and thankful to be able to put two feet on the ground and live each day to the fullest.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Christmas Day 12/25/07
It is Christmas morning and I am waiting for Daddy & Molly to wake up. What a wonderful year it has been for our family. Paul made it through his first year of nursing school. Wow how stressful that was but we did it together. We have 1.5 more weeks to go until Level 3 begins and then the countdown to summer. Molly will be 5 years old on 1/20/07 and we cannot believe it. The time has flown by and we are so incredibly proud of our little sweet baby girl. She is a delight and is so smart, funny, kind, feminine, you name it and we could go on and on. Also, we have our health and all feel great. We have so much to be thankful for this year and look forward to a new year 2008 that will be filled with lots of hard work, love, respect and admiration for each other. We so hope we will be able to see little Maggie's face by next Christmas but who knows. We patiently wait for her introduction and arrival. Thank you Paul and Molly for being my family. I am the luckiest mother and wife in the entire universe. The joy I feel every day in my life is enormous. I love you.......................... Mommy
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